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Depression

Tórshavn, Faroe Islands

Depression brings everything to a stop. As much as we may kick ourselves forward to create some momentum, no movement forward is possible. Once we stop trying to continue forward at all costs, there is a sweet sinking in that happens. A floating down down down to the bottom of the lake, where lies the center of ourselves, waiting patiently for us to come home. Depression strips away all that we have built up to ward away the deep dark harshness of truth. It strips away our identities, our roles, our reputations that we caretake so diligently. All of these things fall resolutely away no matter how much we try to force the old feelings to remain. Depression brings us into a silence so complete it can feel as if the world has stopped. It brings us to the center of ourselves in a pin-point of Self, no extra baggage can be born in this realm (it is much too heavy there). Depression reveals that there are things we have born either cheerfully or begrudgingly that can simply no longer be born. They can no longer be carried forward, so a deep quiet reckoning must be embraced in the silence of our souls. We find we can no longer lie about who we are. We can no longer manage even the lightest of facades. However, it is in the surrender that we find a friendship with another part of ourselves. And this friendship will never leave you. It lives at the center of yourself.
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(Note: this post is not intended to make light of the deep dark unrelenting agony of depression. I’ve been there and there are no real words for it. If you are there, you have my heart. This post is not meant to imply that you should not find whatever abundance of support you need down there, whether it is professional and/or soul friendships. I myself will sit beside you there if you wish. If you do, please let me know. I’m here. I’m not afraid to sit beside you in the dark. You are a brave soul and you have my heart.)